{"id":1748,"date":"2026-03-07T15:33:04","date_gmt":"2026-03-07T15:33:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/?p=1748"},"modified":"2026-03-07T15:33:04","modified_gmt":"2026-03-07T15:33:04","slug":"a-duo-of-blond-men-rolled-into-the-lumberyard-in-their-pickup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/?p=1748","title":{"rendered":"A duo of blond men rolled into the lumberyard in their pickup."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"512\" height=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/649347836_122236228370121967_5532697702041680634_n_cleanup.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1749\" srcset=\"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/649347836_122236228370121967_5532697702041680634_n_cleanup.png 512w, https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/649347836_122236228370121967_5532697702041680634_n_cleanup-240x300.png 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Two blond men drove a pickup into a lumberyard. One went into the office and asked, \u201cWe need some four-by-twos.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The clerk corrected him: \u201cDon\u2019t you mean two-by-fours?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The man went back to the truck, checked, and returned: \u201cYep, that\u2019s what I meant\u2014two-by-fours.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The clerk asked, \u201cHow long do you need them?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The man paused, went back to the truck again, and finally said, \u201cI guess\u2026 a long time. We\u2019re planning to build a house.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>A truck was moving through town, and every red light, a blonde jumped out of her car to warn the driver: \u201cSir, you\u2019re losing part of your load!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This repeated for seven lights. At the eighth light, the driver rolled down his window and said: \u201cMa\u2019am, it\u2019s winter in Maine\u2014I\u2019m driving a salt truck!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>At a bar, a blonde struggled to spear an olive in her martini. After many tries, a man at the next table grabbed the stick and skewered it effortlessly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s how it\u2019s done,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The blonde replied, \u201cBig deal! You wouldn\u2019t have gotten it if I hadn\u2019t tired it out first.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Two blondes were driving by a wheat field when they saw another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of the field.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One said, \u201cIt\u2019s people like her that give blondes a bad reputation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The other replied, \u201cI know. If I could swim, I\u2019d go out there and fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Two blondes were in a parking lot struggling to unlock their car with a coat hanger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First Blonde: \u201cI can\u2019t get this door open!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Second Blonde: \u201cHurry! It\u2019s starting to rain and the convertible top is down!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Two blond men drove a pickup into a lumberyard. One went into the office and asked, \u201cWe need some four-by-twos.\u201d The clerk corrected him: \u201cDon\u2019t you mean&#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1748","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1748","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1748"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1748\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1750,"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1748\/revisions\/1750"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1748"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1748"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstoday365.today\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1748"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}