Two blond men drove a pickup into a lumberyard. One went into the office and asked, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk corrected him: “Don’t you mean two-by-fours?”

The man went back to the truck, checked, and returned: “Yep, that’s what I meant—two-by-fours.”

The clerk asked, “How long do you need them?”

The man paused, went back to the truck again, and finally said, “I guess… a long time. We’re planning to build a house.”

A truck was moving through town, and every red light, a blonde jumped out of her car to warn the driver: “Sir, you’re losing part of your load!”

This repeated for seven lights. At the eighth light, the driver rolled down his window and said: “Ma’am, it’s winter in Maine—I’m driving a salt truck!”

At a bar, a blonde struggled to spear an olive in her martini. After many tries, a man at the next table grabbed the stick and skewered it effortlessly.

“That’s how it’s done,” he said.

The blonde replied, “Big deal! You wouldn’t have gotten it if I hadn’t tired it out first.”

Two blondes were driving by a wheat field when they saw another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of the field.

One said, “It’s people like her that give blondes a bad reputation.”

The other replied, “I know. If I could swim, I’d go out there and fix it.”

Two blondes were in a parking lot struggling to unlock their car with a coat hanger.

First Blonde: “I can’t get this door open!”

Second Blonde: “Hurry! It’s starting to rain and the convertible top is down!”