The Officials Who Came Looking for Trouble—and the Ranchers Who Outsmarted Them

A Montana rancher was one day visited by an official from the state labor department. The department had received a complaint claiming that the rancher wasn’t paying his workers properly.

The official arrived with a serious expression and immediately got to business.

“I need a list of everyone who works for you and how much you pay them,” he said.

The rancher calmly explained.

“Well, there’s my ranch hand. He’s been working here for three years. I pay him $200 a week, and he gets room and board at no cost.”

The official wrote everything down.

“Then there’s our cook. She’s been here about a year and a half. She earns $150 a week, and I provide her room and board too.”

The official looked up.

“Is that everyone?”

The rancher hesitated before answering.

“Well, there’s also the half-wit.”

The official raised an eyebrow.

“He works around 18 hours a day and probably handles 90 percent of the work here. I pay him about $10 a week, he pays for his own room and food, and every Saturday night I buy him a bottle of bourbon.”

The official immediately put his pen down.

“That’s the man I want to speak with,” he said. “The half-wit.”

“That would be me,” the rancher replied.

The official froze.

It suddenly dawned on him that the rancher had been describing himself the entire time.

Sometimes, the best way to answer an overly serious question is with a little humor.

A pig farmer had another interesting encounter with a government inspector.

The official approached the farmer and asked a simple question.

“What do you feed your pigs?”

The farmer shrugged.

“Whatever scraps I have around.”

The inspector immediately became serious.

“That’s unacceptable! You’re mistreating your animals. I’m going to fine you $10,000.”

The farmer was stunned.

He couldn’t understand how feeding the pigs leftover food could possibly result in such a huge penalty.

But before he could say anything, the inspector walked away.

The following day, another official arrived.

Once again, he asked the same question.

“What do you feed your pigs?”

The farmer had learned his lesson.

“Only the finest food,” he replied. “Caviar, expensive cheeses, fresh vegetables, and the best products I can find.”

The official looked horrified.

“You’re feeding pigs food like that? It’s far too rich for them! You’re putting their health at risk. That’s another $10,000 fine!”

The farmer was beginning to realize that he couldn’t win.

No matter what answer he gave, the officials seemed determined to find something wrong.

The next day, a third inspector showed up.

Sure enough, he asked the exact same question.

“So, what do you feed your pigs?”

The farmer thought for a moment.

Then he smiled.

“Well, I give each pig twenty dollars and let them buy whatever they want.”

At that point, he figured it was the only answer that couldn’t possibly get him in trouble.

Sometimes, when officials are determined to find a problem, there may be no perfect answer—so a little creativity is the best defense.

Hope these jokes gave you a smile. Have a wonderful day!